


The Care & Feeding of Idiot Boyfriends

by Xanthos_Samurai



Series: Idiot Boyfriends [1]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Robin (Comics)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Boyfriends, Domestic Fluff, M/M, Polyamory, Sharing a Bed, Slice of Life, implied polyamory, some cursing because Jason is Jason
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:09:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27576979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xanthos_Samurai/pseuds/Xanthos_Samurai
Summary: Jason's not quite sure how it fell to him to make sure that Dick and Tim take care of themselves when they're sucked into a case, but he's gonna do his best.--A series of domestic slice of life vignettes based around Dick, Jason, and Tim figuring out their newfound relationship with each other.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd, Dick Grayson/Jason Todd/Tim Drake, Dick Grayson/Tim Drake, Jason Todd/Tim Drake
Series: Idiot Boyfriends [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2061951
Comments: 18
Kudos: 233





	1. Detective Threesome Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason's not quite sure how it fell to him to make sure that Dick and Tim take care of themselves when they're sucked into a case, but he's gonna do his best.

It was the crack of 8pm when Jason finally rolled out of Dick’s bed. Being nocturnal was an occupational hazard, but today had been something of an extreme example. He’d stumbled in at 9am after having spent the last couple hours being reamed by Bruce for being reckless, being too violent, betraying everything that the spirit of Batman stood for, etc. The same bullshit as usual.

Tim had walked in this morning a few minutes after he had, bearing a backpack full of files and papers.

“What are you doing here?” Jason eyed him as he peeled off his jacket and shirt and boots and the rest of his Red Hood accoutrements.

“Dick and I are working together on a case.” Tim answered as he dropped his backpack in a chair and sipped coffee from a to-go cup. 

“Why are you working on it here instead of at the cave?” Jason leaned over and put his nose right next to Tim’s coffee cup, inhaling the scent. He was about to go to bed but coffee still smelled good.

“Because Bruce is gonna be in a super bad mood after dealing with you.” Dick walked into the kitchen, pulling on a hoodie over his pajamas. “And also because sometimes a change of scenery helps jog your brain. What are you doing to Tim?”

Tim allowed him one sniff, then pushed him away. “He’s trying to inhale my coffee or something.”

“I’m going to bed,” announced Jason. “I know you’re having a detective party out here or whatever, but keep it down to a dull roar.”

“You don’t want to stay up and join us?” Dick pulled him close and gave him a quick kiss. “Have a detective threesome party?”

“I’m so tired that I can’t even make a good threesome joke.” Jason allowed Dick to kiss him and leaned against him a little. 

“Who are you and what did you do with Jason?” Tim cracked as he set his laptop on the kitchen table.

“There is no Jason. Jason died. Now there’s only sleep.” Jason waved them both off as he wandered back to a hot shower and a bed that still smelled like Dick. 

Now, several hours later, Jason frowned at Dick and Tim hunched over the kitchen table like vultures over a carcass. Both of their laptops were open and heaps of maps, graphs, and photographs of assorted gruesomeness were piled haphazardly across the table. Tim was hunched over so much that his shoulders were practically in his ears and a line had appeared between Dick’s brows. Neither one of them looked like they’d slept. 

“You two are still at it?” Jason shuffled over to the fridge and pulled out a carton of milk.

“Use a glass.” Dick didn’t even look up. 

“You never use a glass.”

“Yeah, ‘cause it’s my house and my milk.”

Jason snorted but pulled a glass down from Dick’s open shelves. 

Tim barely glanced up at Jason. “You human yet?”

“I will be once I get something to eat.” Jason leaned back against the counter so he could watch them as he sipped his glass of milk. “What did you two do? Order in?”

Dick yawned so hugely that his jaw popped. Tim frowned and leaned closer to his laptop screen. Neither one gave any indication that they’d heard the question.

Big, warm hands landed on Tim’s shoulders, making him jump. Jason was suddenly standing right behind him.

“Hey Quasimodo, you make my spine hurt just looking at you. Stop it.” Jason pulled Tim’s shoulders back until he was sitting upright. He started to rub them, digging his fingers into the series of knots that were Tim’s neck and shoulder muscles. “Jesus Christ, you feel like you’ve got rigor mortis. Are you even alive?”

“No.” Tim closed his eyes and groaned as Jason massaged him. “There is no Tim. Tim died. Now there is only pain. Ow!”

“Don’t be a bitch. It’s not that bad,” Jason told him.

“You realize that now you have to rub my shoulders next, right?” Dick was watching them with amusement.

“Only if you behave.”

“I’m behaving....” Tim moaned softly, letting his eyes slip closed.

“Yes, _you_ are. But Dick is the much bigger troublemaker behind that Boy Wonder facade and you two enable each other into stupidity, so now you have to _both_ behave. Did either of you idiots eat anything today?” Jason fixed them both with a look.

Dick glanced at Tim, but Tim’s head was practically lolling off his shoulders as Jason’s fingers worked into his sore muscles. He was in no state to answer.

“No, we didn’t eat,” Dick admitted. “We got so caught up we forgot to think about food.”

“I have never in my fuckin’ life understood how anyone can forget about eating. You two obviously never wondered where your next meal was coming from.” Jason stopped rubbing on Tim and patted his cheek from behind. “Good thing you’re cute and I’m in a good mood because I’m going to make you dinner.”

Tim leaned his cheek against Jason’s hand for a moment. It still felt weird to do it in front of Dick, but… they were all cool with each other now. 

“Wait, rub my shoulders and tell me I’m cute too.” Dick reached out and tugged Jason’s pajama pants like a little kid trying to get their parents attention.

“You’re not cute, you’re pretty.” Jason ran his thumb across Tim’s cheek fondly and pulled away. “Clear off the table and then I’ll pay attention to both of you after dinner. I can’t believe I have to feed your dumb asses.”

“...So you’re saying this is gonna turn into a real detective threesome party?” Tim looked over as Jason began to massage Dick’s neck next, one brow raised coyly.

Dick tilted his chin up and grinned at Jason. 

Jason looked down at Dick, then turned the full force of his smirk over to Tim.

“Like I said… as long as you behave.”


	2. Robin Sandwich

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim can't help but feel insecure about his place in the relationship when Dick and Jason have already been a couple for so long before he joined them. Fortunately, Jason's encouragement and Dick needing consoling after a very bad night give him a chance to prove his insecurities wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo this started off as a one shot but I enjoyed it so much that I decided to expand it into a series of shorts instead. They're just so fun to think about!

The morning sun was just starting to shine through the blinds of Jason’s bedroom, casting soft illumination over the bed and the two figures in it. Tim was curled against Jason’s side, head resting on Jason’s chest. Jason was sprawled on his back, mouth slightly open in sleep. One of his arms was curled loosely around Tim, holding him close. 

Tim had stayed the night, something he was still getting used to. Before this, Tim was used to catching snatches of Jason’s attention in back hallways of the manor or a kiss during quiet nights on patrol. Being able to let himself into Jason’s place and crawl into bed with him after a long night of fighting crime was… well it was an almost unthinkable luxury. One that Tim didn’t think he’d ever stop marveling at.

He was mostly glad that they lived apart, actually, with him living at the manor and Jason and Dick in their own respective apartments in Gotham and Blüdhaven. The separation worked for them since they all had complicated lives, what with their day jobs and “extracurricular activities”. But the night had been cold and Jason was big and solid and warm and he never wanted to move again.

The sound of a door slamming downstairs followed by a series of incomprehensible shouts jolted both of them awake. Tim found himself flung nearly off the bed as Jason whipped a gun from under his pillow and leveled it at the bedroom door. Tim had instinctively crouched into a defensive position. They both waited, tense and listening to the sounds coming from downstairs.

“That’s Dick.” Tim relaxed and looked over at Jason with a frown.

Jason groaned and flopped back onto the bed, shoving the gun carelessly back under his pillow. He splayed one arm out, inviting Tim to curl up against him again. Tim did so slowly, settling his cheek back against the warmth of Jason’s bare chest.

“Yeah, it is. Contrary to the ‘Golly gee willikers’ persona he likes to project, he’s actually pretty shouty when he’s pissed off about something. I think he likes to come vent it at me because he knows I won’t judge him. It’s not like his temper can get any worse than mine.”

Tim glanced at the closed door. He could still hear Dick downstairs. It was hard to totally make out what he was saying but the phrases “absolute bullshit” and “system is _fucking_ broken” and “scum-sucking bastard” were intelligible at least. There was another _bang_ , as if a cabinet door had been slammed and the sound of booted feet stomping up the stairs. 

“Maybe I should go,” whispered Tim. He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to, but Dick and Jason had been together since before he had ever even acted on his attraction to Jason. He wasn’t sure how long but for at least a couple years before he’d gotten involved. Despite what Jason said and despite the fact that the three of them had spent plenty of time together as a throuple, he felt like Dick had more of a “claim” to be here.

But Jason’s arm tightened around him and held him in place.

“You’re gonna have to deal with seeing each other like this sooner or later. May as well get it over with now.” Jason’s voice was a sleepy rumble in his chest. “Besides, he’s not mad at you and he’s not gonna take his anger out on you. You know Dick better than that.”

Tim tried to relax. He knew Jason was right, but… 

“Do you always sleep with a gun under your pillow?” He asked.

“Where do you think I should keep it? Up my ass?”

Tim snrked into Jason’s chest. He couldn’t help it.

“ _Bastards_!”

The bedroom door flew open and Dick stood there, fire in his blue eyes and snowflakes in his black hair. He stomped into the room and flung his jacket onto the floor, then started to yank off his outer layers.

“I had him!” He ranted as he shucked layers of clothing. “I had that fucking scumbag _cold_ on a dealing to minors charge and he got off! _Why_? Because the beat cop screwed up and now the scumbag is walking free because the case got dropped due to improper search and seizure!”

“Do you want me to go beat up the beat cop for you?” Drawled Jason.

“No, that won’t do any good because it’s the whole stupid _system_!”

Dick finally kicked off his boots and turned to face the bed. Upon seeing both Jason and Tim snuggled under the blankets, he froze in place. The anger drained from his face and the set of his shoulders, replaced by surprise and embarrassment.

Dick swallowed as if he were nervous, which was slightly mind-blowing to Tim. Dick always seemed so… sure of himself. It was so strange to see him in a moment where he was caught off-guard. Strange… but also sweet in a way that made Tim’s feel strangely warm

“I… didn’t realize you were both here. Sorry for interrupting.”

Jason snaked his free arm out from the blankets and beckoned to Dick.

“Come here, idiot. You know you want snuggles.”

Dick glanced from the beckoning hand over to Tim, almost as if he were asking for Tim’s permission, or at least his blessing. The gesture was one of respect, an acknowledgement that Tim had been there first. Just that small glance alleviated the tension that Tim had been carrying for weeks. He pushed himself up a little and held his hand out to Dick too.

“Come on. You’ve been up all night, you’re tired, you’re cold and Jason’s like a furnace.”

Dick gave the both of them a look of such profound relief and gratefulness that it made Tim’s heart bounce a little. He was in this for Jason, or at least he had been originally… but he was starting to see Dick in a whole new way too.

New, and different, and exciting. And Tim was pretty sure he liked it.

Dick kicked off his jeans so that he was down to his boxer briefs and a t-shirt that had “PROPERTY OF GCPD” printed on it. Jason eyed the shirt with intense disapproval.

“You’re lucky I’m letting you into bed at all with that fuckin’ thing on,” he grunted.

“Shut up and move over or I’ll touch you with my frozen feet.” Dick slid into the bed on Jason’s other side.

Jason, however, seemed to have other ideas. He slid an arm under Dick and scooped him up and over his body so that Dick landed between Jason and Tim with a _whumf_.

“Now you can’t leave,” Jason growled pointedly. “You have to stay here until you chill the fuck out.”

“You telling me to chill the fuck out is rich,” huffed Dick.

Tim had frozen for a moment when Jason had made Dick the center of the sandwich instead of himself, but now he relaxed. Jason was, somehow, incredibly good at figuring out what people needed in the moment. He was especially good at this when it came to Dick, since Dick so often was the one who ran himself ragged for others. Tim admired both of them for both of these reasons.

Now he rested his palm on Dick’s chest, then reached up and ran his fingers through Dick’s hair. The snowflakes had melted, leaving droplets of ice water on the black strands. 

“It’s gonna be okay, Dick. You did your best. You can’t fix a broken system all by yourself,” he murmured.

Dick looked up at him for a moment, watching Tim touch him with an expression of faint surprise. Then he allowed his eyes to side closed and turned his face into Tim’s touch. 

“I know. But it still hurts when I fail.”

Jason reached across Dick and tugged on a strand of Tim’s hair affectionately. Tim knew that that was Jason’s way of telling him “good job, kid” and couldn’t help but smile. He watched as Jason looked down at Dick and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips, then kissed Tim’s hand that still rested against Dick’s cheek.

“You didn’t fail,” said Jason. “You’ll get him. You always do.”

Dick made a doubtful noise in his throat and opened his eyes. He was plainly still upset, even though the cuddling had melted the heat of his anger.

“It’s just so much harder working at this from the other side. You can catch the bad guy and he can still get away because of loopholes or someone else’s mistake. It’s infuriating.”

Tim settled back down on the bed and pulled the covers higher up over himself and Dick. Jason the furnace could fend for himself.

“Well, if you’re really worried about this scumbag selling to kids again, maybe this is a problem that Red can help you solve.”

Dick turned to look at Tim, brows raised.

“Red who? Robin or Hood?”

Tim grinned at Jason. “Oh I was thinking maybe it could be a special limited edition Red Hood Red Robin team-up. You know, just helping out our favorite member of Gotham’s Finest.”

“Hmmmm… You know, I’m pretty sure that could be arranged.” Jason draped his arm across Dick’s torso so that his hand came to rest on Tim’s side, basically holding both of them at once.

“Awww, you guys would go apprehend a drug dealer for me? This is even better than flowers and chocolates…” Dick sounded genuinely moved.

“If by ‘apprehend’ you mean ‘beat the shit out of’, then yes. Merry early Christmas.” Jason yawned and settled down deeper into the mattress, like a bear settling back down to hibernate.

Tim slid his arm under Jason’s and around Dick’s torso. He nuzzled Dick’s throat a little, feeling bolder than he ever had before because it all felt… _right_. He felt right. Being with them - with _both_ of them - felt right. He was rewarded when Dick hummed appreciatively and the vibrations tickled his nose. It made him want to do it again, then do the same thing to Jason to hear what noises _he_ would make. He wanted to explore Dick and Jason, find out what made them tick, find out what they could do that made _him_ tick. He’d been afraid that this would be a mistake, an awkward, messy misstep that would break what they already had when it went wrong. Instead, he’d discovered that it was a puzzle. A complicated puzzle, yes, and one that he was pretty sure he’d never completely solve, but he was excited to see how the pieces came together anyways.

“Thank you,” he said softly. He spoke to both of them, or neither. He wasn’t sure which. He wasn’t even sure if it mattered.

The other two men were quiet for a moment, just breathing. Then, as if they had come to a mutual agreement via telepathy, Jason and Dick both moved at once. Jason pulled and Dick scooted and Tim was now in the middle of the Robin sandwich. He found himself once again curled up against Jason’s side, but this time there was the solid presence of Dick’s lean body (now warm as a result of having been pressed up against Jason) at his back. Dick nuzzled his throat, just as Tim had done to him a few moments ago.

“We’re glad you’re here,” Dick told him softly. “You belong here.”

“Fuckin’ told you,” Jason rumbled, already half asleep again.

Tim closed his eyes and couldn't help but smile. They were still figuring it out. But for now… this felt good. For once, he wasn’t even going to question it.

**Author's Note:**

> Mostly an experiment in trying to write more stuff with Tim and the three of them in a relationship. It was fun to do!


End file.
